Why do you hate hospitals again?

HMM. I wanted to be a doctor when I was a kid! HAHAHAHA!! I cant believe that I wanted to be a doctor when I was younger. LMAO.

When I was really young, I was the kid who you would often see in the hospital. I was admitted into that dreadful place too often for too long that I hated even saying the word hospital. I remember waking up in the middle of the night in an unfamiliar room, having an IV on my hand, lights dimmed.

Just remembering it would sometimes make me feel sick, the same way I felt when I would wake up and my mom not holding my hand. I remember visiting my brother when he got sick, and the doctors had to poke the IV on both of his hands and feet since they couldnt find a vein to poke the needle with. SCARY SHIT. That might explain why my brother is scared of needles. Hell, I would be if that happened to me.

Then when I had asthma, I had to go to the doctor for exams and that stuff. I hate hospitals. And when I go see the doc, I had to go to a hospital. So somehow, I correlated doctors to hospitals whenever I went to see them.

Three years ago, a cyst was found during an ultrasound. That event spun my world around. After the results being confirmed by a doctor, the next few weeks were hell. I practically lived there, woke up early morning to take med exams, stayed there the whole day, then would leave early evening, only to come back in the morning again.

This cycle continued for 2 weeks, and even if I brought books with me to read, it wasnt comforting to sit there and read when you know that they have to poke a needle again and draw blood, or let them make you drink a fucking gallon of water just so they can perform an ultrasound again, or lie down on a machine for them to scan you. NOT FUN. I dont complain about these things but hell, I dont want to do that again.

That was when I hated the docs and hospitals more. I would cringe whenever I hear the word doctor, or hospital. I would only go there if someone close to me was sick, but never would I volunteer to stay there just because I want to.

After that hellish two weeks, I had to undergo a major surgery. My parents were nervous while I was laughing and joking around. Seriously, getting nervous would be the last on my list during that time since my parents were already doing a great job! Another needle poke on my spine, then they let me breathe into a mask and count backwards.

I had to count backwards twice coz I finished counting the first set. LOL. The nurse told me something like.. "Dont finish counting backwards, just close your eyes." ROFL. That must have been funny as hell for her and for the doctors, and for me too. Wahahaha! If they wanted me to get unconscious before finishing counting backwards, they should have told me to count backwards starting from 10,000. I'd just shut my eyes real quick and not count anymore.

After the operation, (lets not talk about the operation coz it sucks) I was in so much pain but I cant show it. Then one intern decided to stop the bloodflow from my arm whenever she checked my blood pressure. I was glaring at her whenever she does it and got rude to her when she did the same thing everytime. I told her something like "Would you please try to do your job better and stop killing my arm?" WAHAHAHA.

I can be mean when people cant take a hint or when they knew they were doing something wrong but wouldnt correct it. TSK TSK. It came to a point when I told my doctor not to let the intern near me. And people, I was in so much pain at that time I was really cranky. Painkillers didnt work that long and I was awake most of the time. TORTURE. And the fucking doctor told me to start walking on the third day, to whom I snapped back "I didnt give birth to a baby, I dont have to walk soon. Let me be."

But since my parents trust the doctor so much, they forced me to walk. And I did. Like 3 steps, while sending glares at them. I didnt talk to anyone after that. Try walking when the wound hurts like hell and they wouldnt give you painkillers and then to have a clueless intern check on you, people. Try to be kind and smile while doing that. I couldnt. I wasnt that patient or kind enough to just take everything with a smile on my face.

Another torture: no solid food. Try drinking water when you're hungry and when all the people around you are eating pizza, or rice or something really good that would make your mouth water anytime. PURE TORTURE. I wanted to yell at them to go eat outside,but then I would be rude to my visitors, who were very noisy that I couldnt sleep even if they gave me pills. And just the smell of the hallway that burns whenever you inhale. UGH.

SO, did that answer why I hate hospitals and doctors?